ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER--IT'S NOT JUST FOR ...I'M THIRSTY

So I wake up this morning, leap out of bed-- okay maybe ‘leap’ is too strong a term  It’s more like slowly introduce one foot at a time to the plush carpet in the elegantly decorated master bedroom suite of the fabulously appointed bungalow. But I digress, which is the point of today’s rambling.

When this gorgeous day dawned I had every intention of making it a fully productive one.  I even made a to-do list last night, because Family Guy was not airing one of it’s more stellar episodes, so my grownup friend Meg and I really didn’t have many good quotes to text back and forth.  Ya know, I really liked that episode when the Griffins were in the witness protection program. I wonder if Meg will have time for a cocktail tonight.  Whoops, there I go again.  Anyhoo, I had a plan, and 3 ½ hours before I had to be at work.

My intent was to be productive, and be on time for work (sometimes I like to show up on time, just to get the boss’s hopes up, then the next day I’ll show up at the crack of noon with a coffee cup full of Bailey’s)  – here’s what actually transpired.

I took a shower, then went into the main salon, fired up the computer with the intention of getting the month’s bookkeeping for my side job finished up, and thereby crossing Item #1 off my to-do list.  I thought a cool beverage might be nice while I’m working.  I grabbed a glass from the cupboard, the OJ from the fridge, and noticed the jug of spring water was pretty low, so I chugged that.  Ya know, this jug will be a swell container for some plant food.  I rooted around under the sink for the Miracle-Gro – when did I buy  Mop ‘n Glo?  I did find the Miracle-Gro, dumped an indeterminate amount in the jug, filled with water and decided it might be prudent to put on something more concealing than this towel before I go outside to feed my new-born herb garden.  I am still stinging from the petition the neighbors circulated the last time I went outside in a towel (really, I think the phrase ‘blinding white cottage cheese’ was a little harsh).

 I went into the master bedroom to get dressed.  Oh, I should probably make the bed -- at least I’d get that done.  Hmmm, it might be time to change the linens.  No time like the present.  I ripped the sheets off the bed, slightly appalled at the accumulation of dust and cobwebs (I have got to take me a summer lover.  That is on another to-do list), and went to the laundry room to stuff them in the washer.  I remembered  I put laundry in the dryer last night that might as well be folded.  I took the dry stuff into the living room, tossed it on the couch and turned on the news while I started to fold.  That empty OJ container on the counter caught my eye.  It really should go down to the basement in my green retirement fund/CLYNX bag.  The container actually made it all the way to the bag in the basement, but when I returned to the kitchen, I noticed the floor looked pretty sad.  Now where is that Mop ‘n Glo? 

I moved the kitchen scatter rugs to the back porch and made eye contact with my new-born herb garden.  Oh yeah, I was gonna feed the little fellas.  Back inside to quickly fetch the plant food, I noticed the clock on the stove was glowing 8:22.



If they get hungry, they can feed themselves



To recap: Three hours and twenty two minutes after I started this ‘productive’ day, I have a computer humming with a stack of mail beside it, a gallon of plant food on the counter, a container of Mop ‘n Glo by the sink, a pile of laundry on the couch, a sheetless bed, starving herbs, a silent washer since I  got distracted by the dryer before I started it, my glass of orange juice has not been touched, I’m still running around in a towel and I have 8 minutes to pretty up and make the 18 mile trip to work. 

I wonder if Meg will have time for a cocktail tonight.  Because I am pretty sure I can start and finish a martini.